OMG! SWINE FLU! PANIC!!
Originally, I got excited to hear pigs finally learned to fly, but then I quickly realized, we’re all going to die from Swine Influenza.
Human-Bird-Pig flu!
150+ dead in Mexico. They’re saying the “threat of a pandemic, is real!”. Confirmed cases in NY, CA, TX, OH, MI & FL. I had a few moments over the last 24 hours where I stopped to check my temperature. I keep thinking I’m getting the Swine Flu! Symptoms are high fever, around 102, headache, chills, cough that REALLY hurts, and aches and pains. Some have said vomiting, and diharrea. (Which I heard Faith say on the air on WBNQ, and I lol’ed, because mentally I’m 7.) You can try to stay pig-flu-free by washing your hands, covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and keep your fingers out of your mouth and eyes. Peronsally, I’m taking a Purel bath, twice daily.
They are saying it’s a combination of Bird, Pig & Human influenza, so they’re still figuring it out. Treatment is available, but you can’t wait to get checked out. The sickest people are the ones who waited. Call the Doc, stay home from work, get some sleep & drink lots of fluids. It’s an airborn virus, so don’t worry about eating pork. I don’t care what combination of bird & pig flu ya got, I’m not gonna stop eating fried chicken & bacon.
My new strategy.
For Letterman.
Kirstie Alley has announced she’s going to be on Oprah for the first time since showing her “bikini body” a few years back. I think 2 years and 200 pounds ago. Special broadcast in widescreen. *rimshot (Hey ohhh!)
Attention! If you drive a Pontiac… heads up.. it’s now a collectors item.
Rihanna’s 1.4million dollar late fee
She borroed over a million dollars in jewelry for Grammy parties, and it’s all sitting in the LAPD evidence locker. They are not even sure if they will use any of it in the case, but have to hold onto it. The jewelers are now asking for 1.4 million dollars in damages & late fees. I hear that tomorrow there is something happening with the Chris Brown/Rihanna case. Check back, sucka.
Saved By The Bell Reunion.
Lark Vorhees, AKA Lisa Turtle, and Mr. Belding (don’t know his real name, and nobody cares) have both signed on for a reunion, and now, another member of the original cast has joined back up. Watch the video & sign the online petition here. (Hint: Ellen says he has “buns of steel”!)(Bonus Hint: No, not Screech)
Jobless?
I found a list of 20 jobs at $20 an hour. The list includes massage therapist, if you don’t mind touching random people, funeral director, if you don’t mind touching dead people, and DJ… wait.. $20 an hour? Time to take another look at my contract….
Also on the list, Septic Tank & Sewer Pipe cleaner. Click here if you want a new job.
The Hills & Family Guy. Mash-up.
LC from The Hills is gonna be on Family Sunday. Here is the preview.
Idol Idle Thoughts.
It’s “Rat Pack Standards” night. Jamie Foxx is the surprise coach tonight.
Why?
Kris Allen “The Way You Look Tonight”. Jamie Foxx says he’d collaborate with him. I wonder how Kris feels about the auto-tone, vocoder thing that Jamie & T-Pain use.. He’s safe this week, maybe in the bottom 3, only because the performances get progressivly better tonight.
Allison Irahita “Someone To Watch Over Me” Is it going to be battle of the sexes week, where the girl goes home? Maybe. I was bored. She can sing, but, is she the American Idol? At 17?. I am not sure. Maybe in the bottom 3, but, theres only 5 people left, so, that’s not sayin’ much.
Matt Giraud “My Funny Valentine” Good bye Matt. See you at the tour. (Sidenote; Matt is the VoteForTheWorst.com pick this week.)
Danny Gokey “Come Rain Or Come Shine” Smug f#ck.. His no-tooth smiles make me want to punch bricks. He was really good this week. Safe.
Adam Lambert has closed more shows this season than anybody I can remember. Headed to the finals. I’m typing this before he has even performed. Unless he comes out in full drag, and says he hates babies and real women, there is no way he can lose. He could probably do all that stuff, and still get to the final. His song choice, honestly, doesn’t matter.
Simon has said “I would put my money on Adam & Danny.” for the final. He says “they are the best two singers, & at the end of the day that is what should happen.”
Tomorrow, the Idol Results show will air, regardless of the President speaking on ABC, NBC & CBS. Fox can make alot more money with advertising during that slot, meanwhile, other networks will air a commercial free speech from Barack. They decided to deny the White House request for airtime. Pretty ballsy, but pretty awesome.
Finally..
Hot sheep on Remy action!
I say good day.
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